It's all about effort

After going over some of our blogs today in class, I had a moment of satisfaction. I volunteered to go over some of my work and was willing to observe some of my classmate's as well. In class discussions I realize I tend to go off on a tangent or apply certain theories incorrectly before I get clarification. Some of the point of my writings have been difficult to apply or understand to the point of me completely re-doing them, including my reflection paper which is probably the second most important paper we'll do for English 313.
The moment of satisfaction I had was that noticing my own effort. In a past life I would graciously count on my intelligence to be realized and not have to put in the work to earn a grade, a symbol of an accumulation of effort and personal genius. After comparing to some classmate's version of what they took in and work they put out, I at least tried. This was an elective class for me taken out of curiousity. Maybe I didn't understand the material as well as some but as with Chemistry, a class I couldn't comprehend for the life of me, I would've given up. Not this time. I made a conscious effort to come to class as much as possible with balancing 12 units, (still) pledging a fraternity, and work 20 hours a week among other responsibilities like taking care of my physical and mental health and keeping close with my family who aren't geographically near. Like my blog about Sula, I found a balance. And it wasn't just a short term balance with which I could have short term satisfaction. I spent the time to think critically, apply what theories I did absorb, and communicate with my professor when I needed clarification. So I'm proud of myself for putting in the energy to a topic for which I have an interest but little passion without quitting when in the past I would have. It didn't come naturally but working hard did forge some understanding and new knowledge that Professor Wexler tried to bless us with.
Wish me luck on my final paper =)